There were certain words you hated and made me vow to never repeat

I won’t even write them here even though you’re gone

Just in case 🙂

I joked that the only time I would ever use any one of them was all of them at once

A string of the objectionable that would be my way of saying without equivocation that I was done:

The Relationship Ending Sentence

I don’t remember that sentence but I recall enough of the words and even though a lot of them began with the letter “B” I know it wasn’t:

“I know busy. This doesn’t feel like busy. This feels like you’re done.”

Had I known that was another way to pronounce our apocalypse I would have written something else

Fuck I should have written something else regardless

Something about missing you and loving you and definitely nothing that made you think about being done

But I said it and days, weeks, months full of nothing came after it

Despite the thousands of other words I sent in hope of rescue

I kept telling myself you were waiting for some specific date but the obvious ones were just as quiet

There was no gift at Christmas

My birthday wish didn’t come true

New Year’s brought no resolution

Our anniversary (pick a date) came and went

I thought for sure you were holding out until one full year had past

That seemed like an appropriate sentence for an inappropriate one

But you’re not committed to the calendar the way I am and you never will be

Oh, wait:

I once went silent for a year and a half so maybe your plan is to one-up me

I’ll dream that dream to make waking up a little easier but who am I kidding?

I’m already writing a poem called “February”